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Sunday, June 18

Lifetime Membership

Waaaayyyyy back in 1990 I bought a membership to a gym. I fell a month behind in the fees and they offered me a deal that I couldn't refuse. Pay on it a bit longer and at a lower monthly rate and you can have a lifetime no additional fees membership! This in my head sounded like "hey cool my payments are going down!!!" I signed up. I swore to myself I would use it so often. I think I went 10 times since then...maybe 20 but that would be a high estimate. Did I ever mention how I hate exercise? Well, since I am trying to fit back into those darn brown pants I am going to the gym tomorrow. *sigh* woohoo.

They have free certified personal trainers there and she will insist I weigh in and get measured. This is humiliation at it's worse, no wait...then you get the pure joy of evaluating just how very fat you are and how long it will take you to get those nasty little numbers where you want them. THEN she walks you around and shows you all the exercise equipment that will help you. Did I mention I hate exercise??

I do have to do this though. M is coming. Probably not till September which gives me a bit of time. I wish he'd come tomorrow but holy smokes in a way I am so glad he's not. Don't misunderstand I am far from hugely or grossly overweight but I am just not comfortable with myself just now so how can I expect to be able to relax around him and not constantly worry if he is thinking...holy moly what have I gotten myself into. I know...rationally I know...he won't be thinking that but all the lost self confidence from the years of put downs from the moron have me thinking the worst.

Pep talk-

Deanna..you can do this. You can hate it all you like but get up off your lazy ass and just do it. Quit feeling sorry for it, quit complaining about it and just change that which makes you unhappy.

-end pep talk. Wish me luck will ya.

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