Turtles and doughnutsDo you remember long ago and far away when you used to dream of that perfect mate? Mine was smart, of course, and funny. I grew up in a house where laughter wasn't rare but it wasn't common either. I remember telling my girlfriends that a sense of humor was way up on the list of required qualities. He must be able to make me laugh and make me smile with a small comment or a private joke just between the two of us. That private joke is a big measure of closeness to me for some reason. Maybe because it shows a bit of intimacy laced with pure fun. What could be sweeter? Oh yes, he has to adore me. Love me, naturally, but I wanted to be adored. Cherished. I wanted my mate to feel the love I have for him and hold it dearly in his heart, cherishing it for the gift that love truely is. He'd be successful. Confident in his own abilities and have the drive to use them to take himself to the top. Cute too. I mean let's be honest here, as much as they go on and on about loving a person for what is on the inside an attraction to the outside is still very necessary for a good relationship. Who wants to look at a person for the rest of their life and every day think...hmmm...not so hot. Sexy goes right in here.....mmhmmm. He has to be able to recognize desire in my eyes and know just what to do about it. Did I cover it all...smart, funny, successful, confident, cute, sexy. Compassionate and understanding. I am far from perfect! He's going to have to be understanding when I make mistakes and compassionate if I suffer because of them. Oh and patient! Ohh yes, there's a biggy! I have a stubborn streak a mile wide that he's going to have to deal with.
The grown up version sees a few other requirements that I have discovered I need in my life. Confidence fits here but applies to so much more than his career. Confidence, strength and a dominating personality. Dominance and my submission to it. I think that's a whole other post to explore but since I am listing those must have qualities this is one of them. He has to be able to dominate my stubborn, independant nature in such a way that we don't lose sight of the woman I am in and of myself. Spirituality. I want him to know God and to see the power that God can have over our lives if we just let him in.
Sounds like a tall order doesn't it? It is. I have settled for less far to often and need to remind myself of the things I have thought important in a mate. I have thought quite alot about this. The old, little girl dreams and the womanly needs and desires must be satisfied if I am to hope for any kind of happiness for the rest of my life.