I am leaving in about an hour to spend Thanksgiving up at my Mom's house. I am having such mixed feelings about going up there it's made for a very sour mood. I want to see her. I really do but it's so very hard to see her like this. When I am at home and hours away I can think past her illness. You don't hear it over the phone. Up there there is no avoiding the truth. She's weak. She's constantly fatigued. She's never getting better. The Mom in my memories is gone and will never be back again. In some ways I feel like I have already lost her.

Jordan isn't coming up with us. He's too much of a risk for bringing up the cold and flu germs that can realistically kill her. That terrifies me. What if the older guys or I give her some nasty cold that we don't yet even know is lurking within us. What if this short visit causes her harm? Even barring passing on the germs it's a danger to simply wear her out. Her boyfriend Bruce is worried about that. That she won't rest as she should when we are there.

I am just not coping with all this well today. My stomach is in knots and my shoulders and head ache from the stress of it.

Labels: mom

posted by dee @ 9:28 pm 0 comments

I won! I won!

Ok I do feel a little sneak and just a tiny bit unfair but goodness everyone's doing it! I sniped. There I admitted it. I sniped an eBay auction. I found a website that would enter my bod with 7 seconds left in the auction so that no one could outbid me. I tried to resist but every flippin auction I would bid on I'd lose in the last minute. I was getting seriously pissed off. So I gave in to the dark side and registered at a snipe site. I gave it my maximum bid and let it go. I have to admit I felt very smug about it and figured I would win the very first one I tried. However, since everyone IS doing it it took me 7 tries! I won!! I am so excited. Yeah, I know....small things please me. What did I win you ask? A Leapfrog Leapster system with three games. A 120 dollar value for 76 bucks! Woohoo!! I simply don't care if it's cheating...the kidlet asked Santa for this and I have to provide it after that don't I?

Labels: Christmas Gifts

posted by dee @ 8:57 pm 0 comments

One to go...

I have one last load of laundry in the dryer. The seventh one. It's been such a very long and busy day. Weekend. Work is so stressful with all the questions about if we will maintain this contract. Every one's workload has increased by double or more and now it will do so even more so because one girl on our team went out on maternity leave on Friday. Unexpectedly. Yeah, I know you can't predict these things and she was very close to her due date but it was not exactly expected so her work is all over her desk still. It's so hard to pick up where someone left off, especially when there isn't clear notes as to where they left off. Another thing with her leaving, I am boosted up a bit and have more of a lead role with the team. A good thing but stressful nonetheless. I am a little bit nervous about it. It feels sort of like a test. If I can handle the added responsibility I'll likely get more right? This is a good thing right? Right.

Anyhow, I hadn't intended on griping about work when I sat down to write this post. I want to say how very well the soup and salad luncheon went today. The kids worked very hard getting things ready and organized themselves so well that the actual lunch sailed very smoothly. The one glitch was that one of the people who had offered to bring a soup forgot to do so. I was in a bit of a panic as service was beginning and I had only three to offer. No way was that going to be enough. I went and tracked down one girl's mom and asked her if the soup was on the way and was reassured it was but that still left one late and possibly not coming. I saw this last person's husband so I went and asked him about the soup and he didn't know what I was talking about. Not a good sign. Finally she arrived, carrying her baby. No soup. She forgot. So, I sent someone to the store to buy a few large cans of tomato soup and just heated that up instead. Brief panic but it all worked out in the end. We raised a fair amount of money and everyone enjoy themselves so I consider it a rousing success.

Now, I am off to listen to some poetry recommended by M and then read myself to sleep.

posted by dee @ 1:38 am 0 comments

No rest for the weary

Today's to do list:


1. Get Mark to school by 6 am for robotics competition.
2. Fill blood stream with caffeine since Jordan will never let me go back to bed.
3. Make to do list.
4. Begin the attack on the laundry pile. (Consider just buying new wardrobes for all)
5. Pick up Mitch from a sleepover at his friends house by noon.
6. Go to the big huge quantity store to buy supplies for the soup and salad fundraiser that in a weak moment I volunteered to run.
7. Go to the church and set up the tables for said luncheon.
8. Pick up Mark from school by 4pm.
9. Come home and glare at remaining laundry. (I am sure it procreates when I am away)
10. Make huge quantities of chicken noodle soup for said luncheon.
11. Make yet to be determined dessert for said luncheon. (hmm...perhaps cheat and buy one?!)
12. Change cat's little box. (Alternatively make a child do it for me)
13. Finish laundry.
14. Ignore remaining chores and sit down to read. (should be around midnight)

Ugh. All I really want to do today is make a cup of tea and read. I didn't even add in the regular things like feeding the children. Then again, they did eat yesterday. Must I do it EVERYDAY? ;)

Labels: To Do.

posted by dee @ 10:13 am 0 comments

unmotivated

I wanted so badly to stay home from work today. I woke up with a terrible headache, it was raining out and i was so tired. I wanted to stay home, make a cup of tea and wrap up in a blanket. maybe read a little, maybe even clean a little. I just wanted to take a day off to be all alone and take care of me. I do far to little of that. Maybe it was doing my hair the other night that has prompted this feeling of neglect. I work, do for the kids, clean, run here and there and rarely take time to just be me.


We have a busy weekend coming up, I do anyhow. I am running a fundraiser for the youth group at church and so I have to make a huge pot of soup, gather the items for salads and rolls. It's a soup and salad luncheon for the congregation. I have others bringing homemade soups and the kids will serve. Everyone will offer a donantion in exchange for lunch and the funds raised will help send the group to 3DYC, a district your conference. I figure running the fundraiser was easier than chaperoning the trip! Can you imagine...2000 teenagers all in a hotel for 3 days? God bless those that run that thing!


So I have set up for the luncheon on Saturday afternoon and the luncheon Sunday of course. With clean up I am sure it will eat up the bulk of the day. I have got to find time to finish the church toddler room decoration. Just little tid bits to do there but it's just another item on the list. Oh my goodness, I have just volunteered to make a cake for my bosses birthday, am I out of my ever lovin mind?! That's what ya get for mentioning a great reciept in passing. Sheesh. Thanksgiving is next Thursday so I have to make rolls and a dessert for that to take up to Mom's house. well just the dough for the rolls but I have to bake them there along with the rest of dinner. Naturally it was my bright idea to have the homemade...my rolls are fantastic but why do I make list grow??

I have to make a list. I will feel better when I have a list to cross things off of.Want to know a secret? I am the sort that adds things to my list that I have already done just to have the satisfaction of crossing them off. Oh and the one thing I have been dying to do for myself? I badly want to redesign this blog. I love the pictures and backround but I think people don't even realize that the pics at the top are actually links. It's just a bad design. One day. *sigh*

Alright, I had better get to actually working at work. I feel so unmotivated today.

posted by dee @ 1:56 pm 0 comments

Bangs!!!

I cut my hair. Yeah, I did it myself...just can't stand to spend money on it.




Before






After

posted by dee @ 3:55 am 2 comments

cool points

I took the kids to see Switchfoot in concert last Thursday night. The show was general admission so we had to get there quite early to get close to the stage so I was convinced by Mark to arrive at 5:15pm for a concert that started at 8pm. Door didn't even open until 7pm so we spent close to two hours standing outside in the cold. It was bearable but still quite cold in my opinion. About an hour into our wait I decided to hunt down some coffee or hot chocolate and I had to use a restroom badly. I decided to go into a little bar/resturarant that was next door to the concert hall. I should add that we were smack dab in downtown Detroit. If I couldn't get anything in this place I certainly wasn't going to go wandering about looking further.


In the interest of self protection I took one teen with me and left the other two in the line. They were plenty safe as there were lots of parents standing in line with their kids. Mitch and I go into this little place next door and it was so empty! Two people were sitting in there watching TV. I asked for coffee, hot choclate, anything warm...and a bathroom. The owner, I presume, said they had coffee and directed me to the restroom.


As I made my way far back into the narrow resturant I passed a wait station and saw a coffee pot sitting there with about an inch of coffee in it. I said a little prayer that this wouldn't be the pot the guy was refering to and hurried past to the restroom.


When I returned the man stopped me as I passed the little wait station again and said the coffee isn't very hot abd beckoned me over to feel the pot. Yeah, the same pot. The glass on the pot was cloudy and dirty looking and it was indeed not warm at all. To top it all off it now had about 4 inches of "coffee" in it. As politely as I could I told him no thank you and hastened our exit. Mitch said he oculd hear the guy running the water to fill the pot. Ewww. Watered down old coffee. Suddenly suffering the cold seemed so much easier to bear!


The rest of the wait was uneventful and finally they opened the doors. We hurried along with the crowd to get stopped by a big build up of people just inside the door. Luckily, it was the line for the will call window and we were beckoned forward by ticket takers. We made our way around and were rewarded for the cold wait with first row spots! The kids were thrilled and I scored major cool points :)






This was Mitch and my neice Rachel's first concerts. We had a great time and they had a very memorable first concert experience. In addition to getting front row the each got a drum stick from the opening band, Moses Mayfield, which they got autographed after the show. Mark got a drum stick and a guitar pick from Switchfoot themselves. He was over the moon! They also bought a copy of Moses Mayfield's CD and got them autographed by the whole band.


If that isn't good enough...we are also on Switchfoot's website in pictures taken at the concert by their photographer!! Mark and I have seen them before and unbeleivably I was in a picture on their website from the last show we saw. This time we are all on there. I'd link to it and show you but it's sort of a maze to get to it on their website. If you are interested lave a comment and I will draw you a map. Suffice to say it definetly rounded out a great night for the kids. Me too. I can't describe how great it feels to be able to have been able to share in this with them. We really had a fun time and I know they will always remember it. I know I remember my first concert and I know I can ask just about anyone what theirs was and they will spring into the story instantly. These kids have a great story to tell. It wasn't Mark's first...no more like his seventh or so but I did take him to his first as well. Greenday, about a year ago. No drumsticks or pictures but he actually won the tickets on the radio and we had great seats. Got his name up on the big screen too as the winner. It was a great night as well and one I am sure he won't forget. br>

Anyhow, That is the latest news around here. I suppose I am leaving out one bit but it's just so hard to say. I am old. I was so incredibly tired at work the next day. We got home around 1 am and I was exausted. *pout* Getting older sucks! Ahh well...nothing you can do to slow it down eh? May as well enjoy and suffer rather than just suffer I think!

posted by dee @ 3:09 am 0 comments

Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go

Well, I went to a training thing tonight. I now officially have a second job. I will be working for a company that handles the logistics for corporate events, airport meet and greets...that sort of thing. Pays decent and it's spotty work so I am not locked into a whole other schedule. We'll see how it goes through the holidays anyhow. Got to bring in some holiday spending money or Christmas is gonna be bleak indeed. Can't we just skip to January and be done with it? Please. Pretty please with sugar on top??

posted by dee @ 2:25 am 0 comments

May the force be with you

I have always loved Halloween. I mean who wouldn't? Free candy, dress up and be anyone I wanted to. I think I have passed that love on to my kids as J was sooooo excited to go out trick or treating. Until tonight that is.



Started out badly when I ppicked him up from childcare. He was already tired and whiney. Had a complete melt down at home because I asked him to wash his hands. His green hands. Why they let kids his age use markers is beyond me. What is wrong with crayons? Even the cuffs on the sleeves of his brand new white turtle neck are green! I digress....so I settle the screaming exhausted child and get him into his costume, load him into the car and drive a block away to his friends house whom we have arranged to trick or treat with. Yes, we drove a block, you'll see it was with very good reason!



J was in a very silly, possibly slap happy mood. What is it with boys and the word poop anyway? He and his friend must have said it a million times. Followed each time by his mother asking him clamly and sweetly to "save that talk for the bathroom". I was just getting frustrated and aggravated. Myabe I am a wee bit over tired too eh?



The boys did settle down a bit about a block into it, thankfully, and all was good for about a block and a half. Then J's exhaustion caught up with him and he started begging to go back to the car and to go home. He lasted about another half block and then I was stuck carrying him the rest of the way back. See why I drove now? My back would never have lasted the entire walk home.



He was so tired he didn't even dump out his candy bag to inspect the loot! He asked for his jammies and was fast alseep by 7:15pm. I'm thinking we should start taking walks every night!

Labels: Holiday, Jordan

posted by dee @ 1:06 am 0 comments